Diary Of A Newly Arrived Trini In Toronto

MARVELOUS MARVA  – COME BACK TO WHAT

Diary Of A Newly Arrived Trini In Toronto

Thought you will appreciate this if you have not seen it before. It is hilarious! Notice how the Trini spoke “proper English” when he first arrived.

October 8th

We have arrived in Canada!!!. Finally!! This marks a new chapter
in our lives. It’s very nice here. It’s a little cool, but who needs HOT weather? This is perfect: Not too hot; not too cold.

October 15th

It is getting a little cooler, but we are adjusting. We bought
some sweaters today and went for a short walk. Loving Toronto!!!.
This is what life is about!!!

October 30th

The weather is definitely cooler now. We taped all the windows
shut, so cold air cannot creep in. Outside may be cold, but it feels like Port-of-Spain in this house.

November 11th

The news reports say snow is on the way … we cannot wait!!!
We have never seen snow and it should be pretty exciting to see
it for the first time.

November 14th

It started snowing. The first of the season and the first real
snow we have ever seen. The wife cooked Pelau and we sat by
the window watching
soft flakes drift down, clinging to the trees
and covering the ground. Could never do anyting like this in TRINI & IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL SIGHT!!!

November 15th

We woke to a lovely blanket of crystal white snow covering the
Landscape. What a FANTASTIC sight! Every tree and shrub
was covered like a beautiful white mantle. I shovelled snow for the
first time and loved it. I did both our driveway and the sidewalk.
Later, the city snowplough came along and accidentally covered up
our driveway with compacted snow from the street. The driver smiled and
waved and I waved back and shovelled again, Torontonians are so friendly!!!

November 18th

It snowed an additional twelve inches last night and the
temperature has dropped to around four degrees. The cold
weather is not so bad. We can take this. Not at all as bad as we
imagined. Several limbs on the trees and shrubs have snapped due to the weight of the snow. I shovelled our driveway again. Shortly afterwards the snowplough came by and did his trick again.
Much of the snow is brownish grey.

November 19th

Warmed up enough during the day to create some slush, which soon became ice again. Bought snow tires for both cars. I slipped and fell on my backside in the driveway, paid $130 for the chiropractor, but fortunately, nothing was broken. More snow and ice expected.

November 20th

Still cold. Sold my wife’s car and bought a 4 X 4 in order to get to work.

November 21st

On my way to work, the 4 X 4 skidded into the guardrail and did
considerable damage to the right fender. We had
another 15 inches of white shit last night. The vehicle have salt and shit all over it. More shovelling in store for me today! De dam snowplough man did he job again. Watch me an’ him!

November 22nd

Yuh believe dis? De first heating bill just come! How de hell it come up to so much???

November 30th

Its two frigging degrees outside! an’ more snow on de way .
Every damtree in de yard geh damage up. An’ to crown it off, de power went out mos ah the night. We try to keep from freezing to death wid candles an’ kerosene heater, but de heater tip over an’ nearly bun dung de kiss-meh-ass house.
Ah manage to put out de flames, but end up wid second degree burns on meh hans. Ah nearly bun off meh eyebrow an’ eyelash. Den de car slide on de white shit again! on the way to de hospital, an’ we had to write it off.

December 5th

Look at meh crosses! Dis snow ain’t plan to stop soon. De ting comin’ down and down as if it go never stop!! What de arse is this?!!! Ah had to put on all meh clothes dat ah own just to go out to meh mailbox. This is real shit! If ah ever catch the prick dat drive dat snowplough, ah tell yuh, ah go cross one lash in he arse. He go bawl like ten Tarzan when he get it. Ah really tink he does hide round de corner and wait ’til ah finish shovelling, den come down the street fas, fas, an’ cover up we driveway again. Boy, ah tell yuh!!!

December 10th

De power still off, de toilet freeze up. Some part ah de roof look like it ready to cave in.

December 15th

Another mudder ass eleven more inches ah snow an’ ice!!!! God know
dis aint right. Ah put ah hole in de snow plough with me pick-ax but the driver get away by the skin of he teeth. If he feel he go be so lucky next time, he lie!!!

December 16

De wife take off and lef me,

December 18

De car cyan start an’ ah tink ah goin’ snow-blind. Ah cyan feel me toes an’ ah din see de sun fuh weeks ! ! ! ! ! An’ guess wuh? De weatherman predict more snow !!!! Yuh believe dat?!!! An’ de win-chill is 30 friggin degrees below zero! !

December 22

Dis TRINI moving back home TODAY before dis God forsaken, kiss-meh-ass place done kill mih arse an finish mash up mih family!!!! If ah ketch a flight, at least a could reach Port-of-Spain fuh Christmas and some good liquors an Parang. Toronto could haul dey arse!

CRAZY –   PHONE CARD

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3 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by jeggae on April 11, 2013 at 3:55 am

    True story

    Reply

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