BY: EWALT AINSWORTH                          05 05 2012

Normally when siblings get together this time of year with the roses in the left hand and the envelope in the right, beware and be aware mom may have something gentle on her mind to share with you, son.  Mothers like to have their own way and are operating under tremendous stress and duress in their daughter’s home.  They may look good, feel good, smell good and have all their medications but you give them a glass of BRANDY along with the  ENSURE, you sure to hear all that is on their minds.     

Mothers always have something terrible and terrific to say about the daughters while they heap praise on the sons don’t matter how bad they be.  Moms will  also talk about how daughters behave and bet  your bottom dollar a time will come when the children, now adults,  would huddle and remember the worst of their mothers and how naïve and mean they can be especially when they pit the boys against the girls.  The girls always stand to lose in preference of the sons and in the diaspora; the daughters are having the last laugh.  The daughters are becoming mothers to their own mothers and are exacting a toll of revenge as they re-calibrate and recall tribal issues of yesteryear. MO STORY OLD, MO HE SWEET.  

Daughters in the diaspora are dreader than dread. Last year, Girlie gave Mommy a check for US 400.00 with the specific instructions that she must not put it in until she says it’s okay.  Mother is wearing ‘depends’ this year and waiting fuh she to come to give her the length of her tongue.  I am sure you know of a similar story eh?

These pages will never reflect the depth, the desperation and the deceit women display to their own mothers as they try to balance work, school, an un-grateful ends-a-man, a house in foreclosure, their children and their children’s children.  In addition second tier mom has to multi-task, be the man in the house, volunteer, shop, do the Sunday school thing, smile, and take care of personal hygiene.  Sandwich mom also has to know her onions, pin number, rise to an alarm clock, take instructions from herself plus manage a man and a car that neither she has finished paying for.   In these republics it takes more than a man to be a man; you have to be cruel like the women, to be kind.  Mothers always blame their mothers for robbing them of a descent relationship because they never approve of the gold teeth, front teeth, tight shirt banner or original fiancé that comes along.  Calibre, character, and commonsense, were the watchwords then.  In those days too, men used to write home and had to have a trade and a nest to put his birdie in.  Now, is any port for a storm.

Their mothers are to blame because the pan man or the coconut vendor or the man that used to help them at the Berbice car park, was never good enough.  And so they got stuck with a second-hand husband, who all he wanted to do was arrive in America and run the ward.  They hate their spouses with a passion.  And guess who is to blame?  (sssssh; mommy coming).

Mothers have brought their mothers to the diaspora to have a good life.  The daughters have them washing, cooking, scrubbing, changing diapers and cob webbing every hour on the hour.  The poor mothers have to settle for ‘old-bruck’ apparels and have to sneak and hide to send a freck for the sons who chose to remain in GT.  And when the lil social security and pension money come in, the daughters encourage the mothers to have a joint account.  And as soon as the money comes in, they write a check against it.  Some mothers are paying for BEAMERS, SNEAKERS, CRUISES and I-phones they never see, much less use.

It is pointless calling names because we all connected and suffer the same fate.  One mother, told her son in glee, about the black pudding farm that she had in the leafy suburbs of Long Island.  Every weekend a FEDEX truck will pull up and she would send out to different tri-state addresses, black pudding, souse, conkie, roti, puree and fried plantains.  This particular vendor did not encourage anybody to come to her strawberry mansion but was on line and had a whole bevy or regular customers…150 in all.  She grossed approximately US1,500 a week.  After 10 years without missing a beat or a weekend, she asked her favorite daughter to buy her a ticket for GT.

The daughter almost chucks the mother out in the cold that Christmas because the mother asked for a simple ticket valued about US800.00.  The daughter also used to receive the mother’s old age pension.  This mother’s day the mother is planning a staycation in the house because she does not want a repeat performance of a Christmas long ago.

This year, a mother from Linden died in her apartment and was discovered by her pastor.  She lived with her daughter and was the box holder for a group of folks from Linden.  Apparently the daughter knew she had died but did not say anything until she got her own box-hand about two weeks after the demise of mom.

Take another one.  Mother goes to Guyana in October and returns in April.  While away, the daughter’s beau and intimate partner, was collecting the pension.  The daughter in turn, was chiseling away at her mom’s money while her GT daughter was demanding payment… ”US600.00 per month or any part thereof.”

What was worse is that the pension amounted to approximately US800.00 and the female beau, was deducting just as much for light and gas and cell phone; even though the mother in law was away.  One can suspect it is the signs of the times.

And so this mother’s day, be sure if you go anywhere near mom or grand-mom, be very be careful.  Even though she may be looking good and smelling good, she may have quite a handful on her mind.  Mothers can be very exploitative to their own mothers.


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