A LIFE OF REBATES AND DELEGATES

A LIFE OF REBATES AND DELEGATES         

By EWALT AINSWORTH                               03 05 2012

Meteorologically speaking spring started March 1 and by the 22nd all clocks would spring forward.  But from a financial point of view this is the best time to be in Toronto, Ottawa, Calgary, Brooklyn, Baltimore and Texas. The season is changing, the geese are getting fat and people are coming together in flocks. Some folks are taking their rebates instantly and doing a same-day-surgery.  And by that I mean they are forming delegations and taking trips to church, to the mall, to the car dealership and Guyana. Sometimes they do a combination and if you look sharp, all of the above. And when they come back they broke like hell and swearing by chutney never to go back again…but that is only talk.  Another rebate, another trip and another habit.

The only delegates you will not see during this spring season are those who are unemployed, under-employed, non-employed, never-employed  and unemployable.  Everything has a season; tis the season to squander and waste rather than sit tight and wait for a better day, a better fare, a better deal.  You see as West Indians and Guyanese, we don’t hold on to money; we does allow the money to hold on to we.  We does put it on car, pets, filtered-tip-marijuana, travel, party, baambsy and a new sweetie.  Once we get that rebate, we does stop thinking straight; the money does come out we hand and we does get outa-hand.

This season too those who remigrated, does make the pilgrimage back to Toronto or Queens to file their taxes and get an instant rebate.  During that visit they does all become delegates of the PPP.  They go to the pharmacy, the priest and a pandit to pray for peace, a passage and a prescription so that they can live longer and wronger.

Victoria sending a massive delegation again.  Buxton/Brush Dam/Annandale South/Friendship trying to open the Tipperary hall that Jagdeo refurbish for free.  New Amsterdam also will be represented in the house even though NA still under water and Jagdeo tu’n-he-back-pon-dem..  Others simply making the inaugural flight on the new GT airline called FLYJAMAICA…one word.  Drinks will be free up and down, back and forth and you know we can’t miss that.

A few short days ago a ‘friend-o’ brought to my attention the amount of old fridge, old stove, old furniture, carpets, washing machine, old tyres and cabinet sets at the side of the road.  At first we thought it was people being foreclosed upon and could not pay their mortgage and were evicted and had to cut and run.  But no!  It is the IRS rebates at work.  We can’t wait and or hang in there until the economy turn round fully; have money, will spend.

Another story I heard about is a GT comrade with an average sixteen year old daughter.  The daughter is mal-adjusted and TARGET is her favorite store.  TARGET is also the store that targets pregnant women and offer them all sorts of incentives to buy and buy and buy when they are expecting.  And so the husband accused the wife of having an affair when he checked up on the volume of fliers and emails and gift certificates coming to the house.  He even went so far as to approach the management and ask them to desist from sending ads and debit cards for expecting mothers.

A few short weeks after, my friend had to reverse course.  He had to go right back to the store and apologize.  His one and only whom he used to boast of as “marmite” was touched by hands.
The baby is a girl and the gift list is on Facebook, compliments of TARGET.

Another bigman, much older and lives in that Ivy Hill neck of the Newark Woods on the NJ-Transit 107 and or 37 bus routes took a trip down town and saw the big dumpsters and piles of garbage at the side of the road.
The 86 year old bigman known in his community as Moottoo, sneaked out of his home and grabbed a shopping cart and went back down hill to rake in stuff people who had received their rebates and cleared out their living rooms.
Three Indian guys jumped Moottoo who looks like Portuguese but he too is Indian.  The teenage boys targeted him because it was the end of the month and perhaps he was going to the EXTRA supermarket located in that ethnic community.  What was also funny the community brought both Moottoo and his assailants together and discovered that they were both Guyanese and wanted to repatriate stuff to the country that gave them birth and world knowledge.

Another thing too.  Most of the anchor stores are offering great incentives for changing of rebate checks.  The Money stores charge upwards of 1% while the big-box stores do it for a dollar irrespective of the amount.  In most families, delegates and their representatives head to TARGET so that they can take advantage of the mark downs in preparation for the spring/Easter trip to the motherland.

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One response to this post.

  1. Posted by charles cadogan on March 9, 2012 at 3:55 am

    I really enjoyed this item!

    Reply

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