LAPTOPS AND LEXWEES

LAPTOPS AND LEXWEES                             01 29 2012

By EWALT AINSWORTH

Originally in my head I was prepared to write a few lines on my lawyer, my mechanic, my lifelong friend at the Bank of Guyana and other hazardous materials. I had the entire structure and layout on the computer all ready and rearing to go and then something happened.  I had to walk aside and later meld my disappointment about these jokers who have devolved into insecurity and need things, money and connive to look good.  Social investments, friendship and camaraderie have become obsolete, irrelevant and it is all about the towels (money).

Yeah I was trying to concoct and put some method to the madness but then I got a telephone call from an indigenous family and friend.  She got herself a PPP car but has no money to make the payments, so she is calling yours truly…”is only 30 towels a month” (US $150.00).  I had to tell her “I can barely pay attention much less pay for a car that she does not need, cannot afford, and lethal to her own welfare and mental health.”

She tried to be nice and cajole me about family, but commonsense must prevail. These days in GT the Jagdeo/Ramotar combo is doing anything and everything to launder the drug money and making victims of citizens. My family cannot drive and her teaching job is just a spit away.  In the end, she had to join with her sister and her daughter to pay for the LEXUS and christen it LEXWEE because all of them have to join and pay for it on a cooperative basis.

I love all my family, irrespective of their station in life but quite recently, I have to ask in a wordless manner, “What were they thinking?”   I should mention I have great connections in Belladrum, Golden Fleece, Seafield, Litchfield, Kingeley, Tempie, Bush Lot and 22Backdam.  As long as you name Ross, Look like a Ross or live in Ross, we are family.

Another family recently cut down a bearing bread fruit tree so that he can construct a garage to store his new found love, his car.  The tractor that brings him money is out in the open and the car, the LEXWEE, is protected.  I have also discovered that cars are now being pushed onto the Guyanese community based on affiliation to the party and the loans are written as agricultural loans.  In addition, farmers get duty free concessions and lower rates or repayment and so the farmers are stocking up on new cars one day at a time and one per child, sweet Jesus.  No more farming; it is laptops and LEXWEES for every supporter.

The indigenous people in Guyana are those who get the first fruits, the first rewards or the first favors from the PPP party in Government.  Then there is the minority type who is the first that see you or call you from an internet café to talk about you bailing them out after a bad decision or some other nonsense that they did.  Strange enough, these types can figure out your work schedule and they know the best time to call and how they couch their language and style, you will believe that they gave you something to keep and it is about time you repay your debts to society.

It is the job of Government to ensure all things are BRIGHT AND BEAUTIFUL.  The people calling you are sometimes better off than you with driveway furniture, maids, fully air conditioned rooms and bearing trees with spice mango, guava, coconuts and lime.   A little learning is perhaps a dangerous thing because I do not see the government taking on anybody except to bury them in deeper debt and make them mendicants on cell phones and driving LEXWEES.  Instead of the people owning the cars, the cars own them and they stop working, get all sorts of aches and pains, want creative sex and instead of eating salt-fish choka,  baigon and drink caonga-fish-head-braff, egg and so, milk and thing,  the GT nouveau-rich  want steak and ale.  Nobody sends and asks for laser saws, magnifying glasses or computer programs for dummies anymore.  The requests are about life styles and a new life of styles and falsehoods and fake love.…a life of misplaced ideals, ideas and ideologies.

Anyhow, I was talking about this pumpkin family….the type that runs to come see you first and push their hands in your pocket and make you open your wallet; my own family called early in the new year, first thing in the morning, she can’t even ride a bicycle  or write a check she called to talk about her appreciation car.  Herself, sister and her adult daughter pooled their money and share the car note for a new 2012 LEXWEE.   They are all teachers, but retired and rehired, living together on a farm in rural Guyana. Really and truly, they want me to send or make arrangements to pay the first year.  Payments fall due in March for the LEXWEE with the PPP signature plates.  More than that, none of them have a driver’s license and are also hoping that I can send some more money so that; “at least one a wee can go to driving school and then each one teach one”. That sounds good from far but I know my people and how they does think and operate.

It was not until my pumpkin-family hung up that I realized that she was talking about a LEXUS and so I called her back to correct her but here again, I was wrong.  She told me in a soft and moderate tone that it was a “LEXWEE”; is me my daughter and my sister owns this car; is a wee car; everything get so expensive that we have to come together and buy food, rent, clothes and now car.”  I got the message and trying to get a more global picture about their finances.  At least I was thinking that ten per cent of their income should be towards the car; 20 per cent towards food and 35 per cent towards their home.  The rest will be spread along lights, phone etc only to realize that Guyanese pay 80 per cent of their income towards food alone.  One landlord when he asked his client for the rent, her quick retort was “spent.”  The hard part is that there is no moderating or litigating body that the landlord can refer to anymore.  Everybody in GT got game.

The PPP has made it possible to discontinue that model of people and morally upright way of thinking and acting.  GT types do not perspire but aspire to eat the best, drink the best, wear the best and now drive the best car that is available.   The last time I help a family, I get lowra.  He is a lawyer, wife was in medical school and he was not scheduled to come up anytime soon and asked me to assist with school fees.  I obliged.  Today four years later, he has sent three different checks to cover less than ten percent and all the checks have been returned “in-sufficient funds.”  Since that time to this time, I have never seen him again and in my heart, I have laid him at the foot of the cross.  I also have the three $300.00 checks plus 15% surcharge in a visible place to remind me of him all the time.

The average American, knows about 14,000 words tops; Guyanese affiliated to the PPP, know 40,000 words and if they on the phone to you and begging for something, they double that double until they get what they want.  They would even cut some Hindi and Urdu to make things right.  I have a PHD in dealing with the pumpkins and indigenous types.  They also good at math and can rattle off all the technical details affecting equipment, computers, boats and cars.  They also know what cars and parts are interchangeable based on year, model and make especially for the LEXWEE.

North America is designed for the individual, the self but they have never told you which self.  The inner self or the outer self; both are always at war and there is never a referee or force to distinguish between the two competing selves.  You must have heard a person carrying on out loud a conversation punctuated with actions and giggles and he or she is all alone.  More often than not, the outer, the louder self wins when in fact we should all be listening to the inner selves that talk to us without words.

Recently, I had to confront another Guyanese lawyer who is very Afro-centric but then I was told that he was a member of the PPP and “that’s the way wee roll.”   The common thread about Guyanese types is that they too bright.  Too many of them have too few challenges and convert the excess energy and thoughts into manipulating and collecting stuff.  Much more than that too, they do not get a chance to see people at work and the perception is a mis-perception.  Wonder bread has gone out of business in North America and biscuits or roti are not considered an option or replacement.  Guyanese are now looking to China and East Asia to supply all their needs.

My mechanic is also affiliated to the PPP. I have friends who change their cars, their wives, their addresses, cell phone and place of abode.  These days you have to be aware cause they changing preferences and affiliation in mid-air just to put on their resume “I am one t(w)oo?”

Another next one..50 years of friendship, and half of that working at the Bank of Guyana carried me to the cleaners.  ‘Shackle’ as he is fondly known, will always pick me up at the airport and shuttle me around is a crippling example of men who have changed for better but have become worse.  I am still hoping that one of these days when he awakens from his slumber, that he would recognise that the people who live a better life are those who de-emphasize the rims and bling.  Simplicity is n emblem for success and no substitute for stupidity.

In GT, political affiliations are a passport to immunity and stupidity.  Not only this friend but others too, see it as a way to cultivate two and three homes in gated communities; travel abroad annually six weeks at a time.  These GT operatives also like to have moon roofs/sun roofs, heated seats, rims and shampp their LEXWEES with MOTHERS brand products daily.  Some of them too pay a five towel box (5,000 G dollars) daily.  They also pay the rent/car note for their girlfriends overseas so that when they come up, they do not have to pay hotel, boarding, lodging and dodging.

The Home Affairs Ministry and police force do not put a premium on investigating certain crimes anymore.  The cost is too prohibitive unless the victim is prepared to bring in a team from Jamaica or some other territory.

I also understand that there was an order to discontinue car chases after bank hoists because very often, the police cars will run out of gas and the felons would get away.  Instead, the police put helicopters in the air and this hinges heavily on the President and or Home Affairs minister giving the okay.  Police in Guyana have been misusing the helicopters to shuttle brides and wedding party guests when there is bad weather.  Very often, the LEXWEES do not suffice and cannot handle the fair weather and crowded roads.

During the hour5s of 6.00 am to 10.00 am and between 3.00 pm and 7.00 pm all trucks and heavy duty vehicles between Providence and Georgetown and Annandale and Georgetown, are taken off the roads.  This new regulation is to allow a free flowing traffic of LEXWEES.  Mini-bus operators are in the meantime suffering,  They cannot generate enough money to support their industry and have to use second hand parts or operate without conductors so as to make up for the deficit.  I wish all of them luck.

Recently, I heard was told of a certain political operative from Buxton who lives in North America went home to mobilize and galvanise for the last elections.  His fiancée gave him a camera, computer paraphernalia and some other things to give to a deaf and dumb friend.  His fiancée recently learned that the appointed messenger is now romantically involved with her.  In his own defence he claimed that he was saving her money “cause Indian women don’t live past 60 and they don’t write and ask for you to send money to get MRI and mammogram.”

I must have mentioned that she has since kicked him to the curb and is looking for someone to give him a “curbside mouthwash.”  A curbside mouthwash is normally done in urban communities, like hazing but part of the treatment entails putting the persons head on the curb and smashing it with your feet until blood comes.

Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind, especially with the sociopathic and psychopathic communities that are emerging in large numbers in Guyana.  The leadership is not moving to quell or recall some of these behaviors.  At one time I used to think that the Whiteman was the person most likely to rob you.  Nope.  Science is wrong.  Guyanese lawyers, mechanics, security and other types too many to mention, are the Lexuses of crime and graft.  Perhaps LEXWEE may be a better label because there is no other better than wee.

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3 responses to this post.

  1. A chronic eye of evolving Guyana. We, humans, prefer to learn from our own mistakes than from the mistakes of others.

    Why do the LEXWEEs of Guyana remind me of the HOUSE Lexus of the USA?

    Reply

  2. Posted by bernadette on February 2, 2012 at 3:37 pm

    As u stated if you have any Ross connection from West Coast Berbice then we are related. On that note I guess we are. I enjoyed your article. All I can say is that GT folks are getting worse each day. A few years ago I spent sometime there after living in the U.S. for over 40 years. I was just amazed how lifestyles have changed. At that time the desired vehicle was a Prada . Vegetables had to come in a can. No more kitchen gardens.Went to visit West Berbice( some of the villages you mentioned) only to discover only a very, very few farmed. Folks were proud to announce they buy their (GREENS) which they can hardly afford.
    I am totally in agreement with you leave them happy folks alone in their fantasy.

    Reply

  3. Posted by francis Jackson on February 3, 2012 at 1:04 pm

    The story is the same everywhere.
    gimme, gimme. And spend what they do not have and wait on the remittances from America, Canada, and England. I can add to the list of stories above but would leave my experiences out.

    Reply

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