By Ewalt “Waltie”Ainsworth                 01 10 2012

Get yourself a PPP.  No money down; no licence required.  All it takes is a good look to get a good looking new car, compliments of the PPP.

The New Year consumers around the world will experience three black Fridays…the first is Friday January 13th.  Friday April 13th will be the next and finally, on Friday July 13th will be the last for this year.  Perhaps you may want to add the last Friday in November, the day after Thanksgiving, as another black Friday too.  Guyanese-types, are exploiting these days to change their window treatments, curtains and blinds as a symbol of success and achievement.  These days the blinds have to be floor length…touching the ground and swirling on command or demand.   Some are opaque while others are neutral and electronic and can change color and detail by the click of a mouse.  We like it so.

It is very unusual to have three or more black Fridays in one calendar year. All these days, are thirteen weeks apart.  In Guyana, Friday 13th January 2012, will mark the sale of the first thousand cars with the license plate PPP and it will be owned by a resident from Betsy Ground, Canje.  

At the beginning of this New Year, the PPP series of cars came on the market.  Membership of the party that has the same initials, has its privileges.  Money is not enough and ownership is not negotiated or negotiable.  Application is by invitation/association only.    Former Health Minister, Dr Leslie Ramsammy, was among the first to make a public display of ownership with his ensigned plate car  PPP 4.  The first three cars have not been cited in town or country but speculation is rife.  PPP honcho, Jagdeo, is micromanaging sales and ownership.  At the time of writing on Monday January 9, PPP 765 was on the road.

Available statistics and sales so far reveal that every 60th car is being made available to non supporters of the party.  Over the last two decades, Guyana has sold approximately 10,000 cars annually and this year from official Government sources, some 13,000 new cars will be sold.  Priority will be given to supporters and acolytes of the PPP.

Other significant figures made available include the exponential increase in the sizes of houses.  Prior to 1990, home sizes in  Georgetown, New Amseterdam, Linden, Melanie Damishana and other satellite communities, hovered around 400 square freet.
By year 2000, the sizes of homes doubled and now in 2012, the size of new homes under construction ranges from 8,000 square feet to as much as 20,000 square feet.  In baker’s dozen examples, homes with 80,000 square feet have been cited.  Special features are pet zoos, sick bay, swimming pool, skating rink, theatre, disco and an additional room for kitchen/security staff.  One home has a special room for gift wrapping only.  The wrapping paper alternates between portraits of owner and children and uncut replicas of towels (G 1000 dollar notes).

There is a statistic in North America that suggests if your food and staples originate from within a two hundred mile radius, you are considered middle class.  Guyana is the exact opposite.  Food for the drug and uppity class is imported in barrels and containers.  Guyanese have forgotten that food can be taken medicinally and the body can heal itself providing the right foods are eaten.  These mantras are both obsolete and impotent.  Guyana even has dog restaurants and pet hotels.  Take that for your fastness.

The story has been told of a PPP executive returning home after a four day visit to Brazil.  Wife and dog hurry to meet him on his return by private jet at nearby Ogle airstrip.  Man kisses dog first even though the wife warned him that the dog “misbehaved; he drank a few minutes ago straight from the toilet bowl.”  The man chastised her and almost hit her in a public place for not keeping a careful eye on the dog.  Could you believe that eh?  “Eye na see, heart na bun” was his retort and kissed the dog one more last time.  She looked at him up and down and never said another word.

Compassion is being slowly deleted and obscured in the new Guyana lexicon.  The country has devolved as a small one per cent, run amok has ruined the sense of being, achievement and camaraderie.  No water can out the fires as they burn out of control; more of the masses have to eat humble pie whether they live in Bloomfield,  Betsy Ground, Little Biaboo, Nurney, Dundee, Ebini, Cotton Field or Tuschen.  Status is based on the texture, length and width of your drapes.  It is a doggone shame.


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